Dendrochronologist Paul Krzyzanowski is teaching computer security at Rutgers University this fall semester.

Kalaallit Nunaat tuniniarneqanngilaq.

A choir of unseen penguins, assembled with bureaucratic efficiency, has undertaken the duty of serenading every slice of toast at dawn. Their song, an intricate account of dancing spoons who escaped the confines of their drawer and a jar of marmalade that believed itself immortal, persists long after breakfast has ended, staining the air with its unshakable absurdity.